


JFC MY POOR VIRGIN EARS - Avec Les Commentaires Experts.

by thatmichaelgirl (SupernaturalMystery306)



Series: EXPERT COMMENTS [5]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low
Genre: Expert comments series thing, M/M, jack is grossed out and confused, luke is loud, michael likes to cuddle his baes, mikey says group sex is fun, noise complaint from jack, the 5sos boys love jalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:49:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalMystery306/pseuds/thatmichaelgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As summarized by my amazing lillylikeablade, Michael is a precious unicorn who feeds on Jack's discomfort and pain, and Calum is a literal puppy.</p><p>May I add, that Michael also feeds off on the Jalex fluff and sex?</p><p>Inspired by JFC MY POOR VIRGIN EARS by lillylikeablade.</p><p>DISCLAIMER: I do not own this work. I sorta do. But, this is basically another author's work, and I have added my comments in between it. Kind of like those "Reading the this-that-book" fics.<br/>The original author approves of me doing this, so don't go running to them complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	JFC MY POOR VIRGIN EARS - Avec Les Commentaires Experts.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kailogan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kailogan/gifts).



> Lillylikeablade-  
> Heya, I've had this done for a long time but never got around to putting this up. To be fair, this is my most favorite out of your entire series, so I've been partial and posted this before the others. XD Sorry not sorry :')
> 
>  ~~Again, I'm having those dumb issues with gifting and all. :(~~ I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO GIFT THIS. XD

**Jack: mikey..**

**Michael: jack**

**Jack: can you please shut up**

**Michael: i dont know what your talking about**

**Jack: please mikey**

**Michael: what**

**Jack: im going to throw up**

**Jack: jesus christ**

**Jack: youre just a baby**

BABIES DON’T FUCK, JACK.

**Michael: *giggles***

Ashton been influencin’ these punk kittens. THEY'RE ALL GIGGLY NOW. DUNNO WHETHER TO COO OR PULL MY HAIR OUT.

**Jack: calum should be your lead singer**

**Jack: hes louder than luke**

IF CAL’S LOUDER, WOULD YOU FUUUUUCK HIM? WOULD YOU LAY DOWN, BELOW HIM FOR MISSIONARYYYYY? AS YOU TELL THEM TO SHUT UP, PLEASE REMEMBER YOU’RE JEALOUS, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AROUUUUUND HIS DICK! Yes, it’s a parody of More Than Dick. ...Um, _This_.

**Michael: ummmm…**

YES EXACTLY UMMMM…….

**Jack: what**

**Jack: dude IS that luke!??!**

YES IT IS. PRINCESS LUKE IS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS TILL HIS CHEST FEELS TIGHT

**Michael: maybe**

**Jack: what the fuck**

**Michael: sorry?**

IT’S OKAY.

**Jack: wait a minute...**

**Jack: how are you even texting if your doing that**

**Michael: hey im awesome at multitasking**

**Jack: no one is that good at multitasking mikey**

SOME PEOPLE ARE. AND MICHAEL IS A SPECIAL BREED OF UNICORNS SO HE CAN DO ANYTHING

**Jack: JFC MY POOR VIRGIN EARS**

NOT VIRGIN YEARS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE ALEX FOR? PLAYING KITCHEN?! Aaaaand, on a completely different note, the TITLE IS HERE!!!!!

**Michael: oh shut up**

**Michael: we have all heard you and alex and luke has even seen it**

EXACTLY MY POINT

**Jack: how does his voice stay so clear**

**Michael: idk ask calum**

**Jack: what does calum know about it**

**Michael: hes the one fucking him**

DUH FUCKING DUH

**Jack: WHAT**

**Jack: im so confused**

DON’T BE.

**Michael: dude have you seen the rest of my band? It would be a crime to limit ourselves to just one of us**

AMEN TO THAT. APPLAUD DAT BOY.

**Jack:....**

Michael: dont deny it. youd fuck all of us if you werent stupid for gaskarth

YES WAY.

MIKEY WAY. (How did he  _end up here_? Call him lucky. Or Lukey. Or Mukey. Meh, call him anything.)

**Jack: there is no way you were able to score three boys...i stuggle to even believe that calum can put up with you**

THAT'S WHY IT'S BETTER IF HE GOES DOWN ON MICHAEL INSTEAD OF PUTTING UP. YA GET MY POINT?

**Michael: i am hurt**

**Jack: sorry but i am still stunned 0_0**

**Michael: how did you not realise? we're not exactly subtle**

KUDOS BRUH

**Michael: i dont think calum even understands the meaning of subtlety**

**Jack: hey dont be mean to the puppy**

PUPPY LOVE CAME TRUE :’)

**Jack: hes adorable**

**Michael: back off barakat**

HAH HAH HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh XD XD XD Jealous!Michael Ooooooohhhh, me LUKEY XD

**Jack: oh calm down its not like your running short on boyfriend**

IKR JACK.

**Jack: ive only got one**

YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK DADDY MERRICK TO JOIN YOU.

**Michael: youre missing out on the wonders of polyamorus relationships and group sex**

**Jack: how does that even work**

**Jack: HOLY SHIT judging from those noices it works effectively**

AH YES YOU ANSWERED YOUR OWN QUESTION HOW SMART OF YOU.

**Jack: this is disturbing. Its like listening to my little brothers bang or something**

**Michael: don't pretend its not hot**

AND THIS IS WHEN THE BEST PART STARTS.

**Jack: ew god no**

**Jack: shit luke must be scarred from actually seeing me and lex**

NOT AT ALL. IT WAS SPANK BANK MATERIAL FOR ALL OF THEM. -_-

**Michael: oh yes it haunts him relentlessly**

NOPE.

**Michael: lucky prick**

OH YEAHH LUCKKYYYY. Wait, Lucky Luke. Sounds like some cereal brand name. Oooh, Lucky Charms! But please don’t eat Luke. In any way.

**Jack: what**

**Michael: oh honey lukes been the captin of the H.M.S jalex since forever**

CAN I SAIL THAT SHIP? PERFECT NAME BTW. AND HONEY. AAAHHH SO PERFECT.

**Jack: what the hell**

**Michael: what its not weird.**

IKR STOP ACTING AS IF IT'S WEIRD JACK. THESE THINGS ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL

**Jack: kinda is**

**Michael: if that is then I'm afraid to know what you would call what we did after.**

YESSS

**Jack: fucking fuck....**

AW YEAHH

**Jack: did...did you guys have sex over me and Alex?**

**Michael: yep.**

I CAN IMAGINE MICHAEL ADDING A "^_^" FACE AFTER THAT. OR THE SMIRKY ONE

**Michael: it was awesome**

DAMN RIGHT IT WAS. I THINK WE GOT A FIC OUTTA THAT

**Jack: you disgust me**

**Michael: look ill talk later. ash just got here ;)**

"BRB GOTTA FUCK ASH TTYL BABE"

**Jack: 0_0**

**Jack: michael clifford you are a very strange human**

AGAIN, HE'S A UNICORN. OR A SEXY DRAGON. WHICHEVER'S PRETTIER. AND SEXIER, DUH.

**Jack: *fist bump***

COOL

**Jack: JESUS FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ASHTON**

WHAT YOU DO TO ALEX……??

**Jack: i despise you**

NO YOU DONT

*******

**Michael: you love me**

**Jack: *sighs***

**Jack: yeah whatever**

SEE THEY BOTH AGREE WITH MEEEEEEEEE.

**Michael: love you too**

**Michael: now go hang out with alex or something so i can cuddle my baes**

Considering the fact that Mikey hates the word "af", I kinda don't think he'd ever be caught saying "bae" :') Even for Luke XD

**Jack: your a dick**

**Micheal: oh i try**

#TRYHARD


End file.
